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OU2 is a caregiver support community where wisdom and truth are shared, not prescribed. Nothing is taboo. You are welcome exactly as you are.
Familiar Ground
Nine of us covered a lot of ground, most of it ground we have walked together before: the person who is sure they can still fix it, weather that knocks everyone sideways, how hard …
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What is happening to me?
Ambiguous loss, anticipatory grief, identity shifts, and grief before and after death.
Explore this topic →How do I keep going without losing myself?
Burnout, boundaries, rest, nervous system regulation, and joy-spotting.
Explore this topic →How do I keep life running?
Medical coordination, medications, transportation, insurance, and tools.
Explore this topic →How do I stay human in all these relationships?
Family dynamics, scripts, anger, power shifts, and boundaries.
Explore this topic →What help exists, and how do I use it?
Respite, therapy, grief support, apps, and how to ask for help.
Explore this topic →How do I make things easier later—for both of us?
Advance directives, POLST/DNR, powers of attorney, and preparation.
Explore this topic →Recent Meeting Recaps
View all recaps →Familiar Ground
Nine of us covered a lot of ground, most of it ground we have walked together before: the person who is sure they can still fix it, weather that knocks everyone sideways, how hard it is to ask for help for ourselves, and the idea that caregiving behaves like an illness nobody else can see. We took that last one seriously and went looking at the data.
What Comes After
A member came to the group after her spouse died and offered the rest of us a look at what comes after caregiving. Her words, you think you're ready, stayed with the room all hour: plans and phone numbers are preparation, but they do not reach the part of loss that has nothing to do with tasks.
What Goes Uncounted
Neither of us made it to this one, so rather than a record of the conversation, this is what we prepared while we were away: the person in most caregiving households who never gets asked how they are doing, and what the evidence actually says about preventing falls.
Setting Things Down, Handing Things Over
Two members named what it cost to step back from their own activities, and the room found the same shape underneath everything else it talked about: who is still allowed to do what, and what it takes out of everyone when the answer changes. Along the way, a debate about the word care partner, and a wish for a pill that provides patience.
"In this space, you get to be seen. Thank you for bringing your whole self, again and again."— Meg & Candice, OU2 Coordinators